In the underground world of the mole kingdom one man rules with a grumpy hand. On a random day surface dwellers might experience a random invasion of Moloids or earth tunneling Gargants. In later years entire landmarks have been razed to the subsurface in matrimonial protest. You may be asking yourself why. The answer is more simple than one would think. Say hello to Mole Man.
Harvey Elder, a.k.a. Mole Man is one of Marvel’s most misunderstood villains. In his younger years he was a thorn in the side of Reed Richards and his Fantastic Four. During the 1980s Harvey did a lot of self-reflecting. He realized his solitude was causing a lot of anger and depression. In his geriatric years Mole Man turned a bit girl crazy.
Some may write this off as a midlife crisis. I say Mole Man has proven himself a strait out playa’ in a world filled with blond hair Asgardian hunks and armor-plated super-wealthy playboys. I give to you four examples of Mole Man and his quest for a significant other.
In 1991’s Sensational She-Hulk #33, Mole Man attempts to seduce and marry Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk). This event didn’t turn out as the lord of dirt expected. What was She-Hulk thinking? Her suitor is a man of wealth and power. On top of that Mole Man owns a vast underground spa franchise. Your loss Jennifer!
Later, in a 2011 newspaper cartoon section, Mole Man received another chance to play pickup artist. This time Harvey Elder chose a lady with grace and previous marriage experience. His target was none other than Peter Parker’s Aunt May.
Mole Man tried to entice the retiree with lavish gifts of considerable wealth. Aunt May was presented with the largest diamond ever know to man (at the time). The Moloids could never understand why surface females where so fascinated with common rocks and minerals. Unfortunately Harvey would never find out the answer to his subordinate’s query. This was strike two for the bachelor king.
In 2016, Mole Man attempted to seduce a much younger woman in Marvel’s The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #10. Doreen Moreen Green was on a series of match.com dates when one was rudely interrupted. Harvey c-blocked a young hipster college student. To Mole Man’s surprise Doreen was not into the whole sugar-daddy scene. Harvey put the moves on (i.e. took the world’s national monuments hostage) but was unable to seal the deal.
At the end of the this little adventure Harvey discovered that one of his Gargants, Tricephalous, had a crush on him. The Gargant put their own moves on and they both retired happily to their underground kingdom. Apparently he likes a little titanic junk in the trunk (see above brown Gargant image above).
Green Gargant wasn’t the only woman who crushed over Mole Man. From sometime in the 1990’s through the 2000’s, the queen of the Atlantean city of Netheria came in contact with Harvey. It was love at first site. For one of them at least. Queen Kala spent the next several years stalking and making advances towards the silver-mole.
Mole Man made it clear that he was not interested. Is this true? I say he was playing “the game”. What’s the old saying? “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” Kala made it creepy by changed her look and name to better supplicate Harvey. The Atlantean queen began dressing like Mole Man, even taking the title of Mole Woman. Obsessed much? Look out Mole Man, you reap what you sew.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Leave your comments below!
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