My Rating
“The Final Beat Down!”
Lord Dracula has just agreed to Dazzler’s boon! Her d-bag ex-boyfriend, the vampire Alex, has officially landed himself on two very dangerous shit lists. Unfortunately, that creates a small problem for Dazzler and the other X-Terminators. How are they supposed to make Alex suffer when Dracula has already marked the traitorous pretty-boy for death? These girls didn’t fight their way through a vampire death arena just to let Dracula have all the fun. It’s time to kick Alex where it counts!
Meanwhile, Wolverine has been teleported across space to keep the Collector occupied. There’s no need for that intergalactic dick-wad to swoop in, rescue his lackey, and spoil the girls’ revenge party. Laura has already lost enough blood—and body parts—during this adventure. What’s one more ridiculous battle before calling it a night?
Can Jubilee and Boom-Boom join the space jam before it’s too late? Will Dazzler finally get some satisfaction after everything her vampire ex put her through? How many explosions does it take before Boom-Boom considers the problem officially solved? Can you say party time? Collect the series to find out!
Reviewer Notes
Well, this was a fun miniseries. After recently reading the original X-Terminators storyline featuring the younger members of X-Factor, I was curious how this newer version would compare. They’re obviously two very different animals, but I found this series every bit as entertaining. The original had demons, kidnapped babies, and the insanity surrounding Inferno. This one gives us vampires, death games, severed body parts, space travel, bad outfits, and enough crude humor to fill a dive-bar bathroom wall. Somehow it works.
Leah Williams never pretends that X-Terminators is supposed to be serious literature. That’s probably the biggest reason I enjoyed it. Dazzler, Jubilee, Boom-Boom, and Wolverine spend five issues drinking, fighting, insulting each other, getting covered in blood, and generally creating chaos wherever they go. The chemistry between these four women carries the series. Boom-Boom especially became one of my favorites. When your first instinct is to blow the problem up and your second instinct is to blow it up again, you’re probably going to keep me entertained.
Lost
I will admit that the ending lost me a little. What’s the deal with the bald woman and the basket? Is she connected to that weird purple demon baby? Did I miss something from another X-book? Whatever the explanation, that final bit sailed right over my head. Thankfully, it didn’t hurt my enjoyment of the overall series. After five issues of vampire gladiators, flying limbs, monster trucks, Dracula, the Collector, and general mutant stupidity, being confused by one final scene almost seems appropriate.
I’m giving X-Terminators #5 four out of five stars, and I’d give the entire miniseries the same rating. If you’re an X-Men fan—or you just want a mutant book that isn’t afraid to be violent, crude, sexy, and gleefully stupid—I recommend picking up these issues or grabbing the trade paperback. This was one hell of a fun ride.